Saturday, September 10, 2016

Celebrate your struggle

The only one who doesn't struggle is the one who doesn't grow. So if you are struggling right now, see it as
a terrific sign - and celebrate your struggle.


Sunday, August 28, 2016

The worry

The worry is a misuse of the imagination
Dan Zadra

Wednesday, July 20, 2016


...when regret is sincere, an apology to another
need not be accepted.

Seek to speak purely from your heart. When you have
made a mistake, erred as all humans do, admit it, feel
your regret as your inner truth, share it with those who
matter in the incident, and ask forgiveness. But do not require
it in order to move on in peace.

Another person's forgiveness is not what is needed.
Only your own. If the distress you caused was
unintentional, say you are sorry, then hold in a place of
love for those who will not forgive you. It may be a larger
hurt they are healing.

Thursday, June 9, 2016

How are you?

When it comes to answering the question "How are you?" when we use a default answer like "fine" or "good" it is we are avoiding connection and/or potential confrontation.

 I know at least for me, there used to be a little voice in the back of my mind that said, "They don't REALLY care how I am. She was just being nice. It's her job at the store to ask those questions."
 Sometimes that was true. I could sense that the person didn't care. But that doesn't change the fact that a part of me was afraid to engage the other person. What did it matter? We'd only talk for 10 seconds anyway. Why bother being open and vulnerable?
It wasn't until a few years ago that I decided to make my best conscious effort to answer "How are you?" honestly. Some days that means I'm wonderful, delighted, having a great day, or simply feeling well.

 Other days, I answer more somberly. For example, I'll tell people that I am "Tired,"  "Sad," "Very upset" or "I'm having a really difficult day/week/month/holiday season." Sometimes people don't know how to respond to that.

Answering "How are you?" candidly is out of the norm. Unexpected. Vulnerable. All the things that people usually try to avoid (consciously or subconsciously).

 The thing is, when we answer unconsciously with socially expected and accepted responses, we become robbers.

We rob the other person of the opportunity to engage with the world in a more alive way. We rob ourselves of that same opportunity. We also rob ourselves of living presently, consciously, and authentically.

 We rob ourselves and others of the opportunity to make new friends, new connections, share our experiences and insights, and most importantly - share our our humanity.

It is risky to be vulnerable.

 Part of us fears rejection. Part of us worries about what the other person will think if we were REALLY candid about how we are.

 Those are normal aspects of our social survival instincts. It's the pack mentality that says "If I don't conform to what I think others expect of me, I might not get what I want. I might be rejected. I might not survive."

It doesn't just happen in supermarkets and stores though. This is most readily seen in social functions with family, friends, coworkers. It happens in almost every walk of life where "How are you?" is a frequent question.

 In those contexts most people rarely answer honestly. "Good" and "great" become coverups for the real inner thoughts like "My life is in total shambles and I'm grateful just to be out of the house. Would you please pour me a glass of that wine?"

Being open and candid is not easy. Few of us were given working examples, the tools, and the support to be vulnerable, authentic, and candid.

 Fortunately, every day we have an opportunity to change that in a safe way.

 Where and how?

The supermarket :)

Next time somebody asks you "How are you?" pause for a brief moment and answer honestly.

 See how the moment unfolds. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but I guarantee you this: Do it enough times, and you will experience ever increasing degrees of inner freedom and peace.

Because you're no longer silencing the true essential nature of yourself that WANTS to be authentic and connect with others...

 Even if it be for just a brief moment.

Your Partner In Connecting Authentically,
 Chris Cade

P.S. After you answer, remember to ask the other person how he or she is. Ask honestly and listen to the response.

 You'll be amazed how many people are willing to also be candid, open up, and connect when you give them a live working example to follow and a compassionate smile to support them.

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

The most useless question in the universe

"Why?" is the most useless question in the universe.
The only question with any meaning is "What?"

Asking "Why is this happening?" can only disempower
you. Asking "What do I want to make of this?"
does exactly the opposite.

Here is a great secret: the Why of anything
is to produce the What of everything.

Think about that for a moment. In fact,
think about it for the rest of the day.


Sunday, April 10, 2016

Who are you?

P.S: The difference between pleasure and freedom is the distance from here to the moon.
Byron Katie

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

7 Spiritual Laws of Success

The Law of Pure Potentiality
Take time to be silent, to just BE. Meditate for 30 minutes twice a day. Silently witness the intelligence within every living thing. Practice non-judgment.

MONDAY The Law of Giving
Today, bring whoever you encounter a gift: a compliment or flower. Gratefully receive gifts. Keep wealth circulating by giving and receiving care, affection, appreciation and love.

TUESDAY The Law of Karma
Every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in like kind. Choosing actions that bring happiness and success to others ensures the flow of happiness and success to you.

The Law of Least Effort
Accept people, situations, and events as they occur. Take responsibility for your situation and for all events seen as problems. Relinquish the need to defend your point of view.

The Law of Intention and Desire
Inherent in every intention and desire is the mechanics for its fulfillment. Make a list of desires. Trust that when things don’t seem to go your way, there is a reason.
FRIDAY The Law of Detachment
Allow yourself and others the freedom to be who they are. Do not force solutions—allow solutions to spontaneously emerge. Uncertainty is essential, and your path to freedom.

SATURDAY The Law of Dharma
Seek your higher Self. Discover your unique talents. Ask yourself how you are best suited to serve humanity. Using your unique talents and serving others brings unlimited bliss and abundance.

Deepak Chopra,
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